Brighton-based Pro-Domme Queen Morningstar explains why the kink business is slowly being eroded by less than professional fetish practitioners.
When is a man more vulnerable? With a loaded gun pointed to his head? Or, when his dicks hard? In most circumstances, it’s the latter. Why do you think female supremacy and domination exists? Is it because men just love to bow down to strong powerful women? In some instances, this is true.
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Although, the rule of thumb is, men prove themselves insignificant because they become weak through seduction. Like prey they’re easily moulded and manipulated. This fact has been proven true time and time again. I mean, take this statement away from the domination perspective and place it into everyday context. Many wars have been started over women because men are most vulnerable and can be mentally hijacked when they’re aroused. Let alone when they’re aroused, egotistic, manipulated and denied, that’s an entirely different ball game. Now, I imagine you’re wondering why are you telling me this when this piece is titled scammers of the domination scene? Well, I needed you to think, to understand how and why its incredibly easy to render a submissive man vulnerable thus making taking money from him easier than snatching candy from a baby. Where there’s a situation of such, the situation becomes open to abuse. Not the good kind, the kind of abuse that the sub’s pursuing which is of course the power exchange and play obtained from a devious dominant woman. I’m talking about the kind of abuse from conmen, exploiting and infiltrating the BDSM environment, tainting its beauty for all.
Envisage this, you find the domina of your dreams. She’s beautiful, alluring and as cruel as she is powerful. You worship her images. Study her social media posts, all of which are designed to lure you in. Subliminal messages willing you to tribute and contact her. Finally, you do. You send £10 to show you’re not a timewaster and a polite message in hope that she will respond. Anxiously waiting, staring at the screen, clicking refresh over and over like an obsession. Then finally, her name appears on your screen. The anxiety of waiting quickly turns into excitement. Her response is much more detailed than that of the typical domme. She’s thankful and interested in finding out more about you. Over the period of an hour or so many messages are exchanged. Just receiving a little bit of her attention makes you feel something, a happiness, a delight like no other but these feelings invoke a hunger and a craving. The following day, you look for that feeling, her attention to brighten up your otherwise mundane life. You write to her and await. No response. So, you wait a little longer, growing more and more anxious. The anxiousness almost grows into desperation. Then it clicks, silly you, you forgot the etiquette! Today you send more, because you like her, she’s a sweet girl and you want to treat her. You send £100 and start the habitual process of refreshing and waiting. Then she responds, your endorphins kick in. Today, as you have been so kind to her, she returns the favour with a seductive image taken “just for you” because you’re special. Day by day the same routine, you up the tribute daily and before you know it, you’ve sent her thousands. Not only have you parted with a substantial amount of money, but you have become addicted, you must meet her, and she encourages this. Although, there’s a catch. She tells you that she is only familiar with a certain set of tools. A link is sent, and she requests that you purchase a particular BDSM set in preparation for the meet, which you of course do, even if it is over-priced. You confirm the purchase and then she’s gone! No more messages, no more responses and you’re there left feeling alone, craving her attention and affection and rather red faced when it becomes apparent that this beautiful woman who has manipulated you into sending thousands of pounds is most likely a domme catfish.
What impact do you envisage this experience has upon someone? Embarrassment, stupidity, tainted and resilience to allow oneself to fall victim to this trap again?
In an attempt to avoid being conned by another domme catfish, you vow not to send tributes’ or pay any upfront costs again. Yet, you’re still submissive. You still have an undying urge to play with fire, to temp the danger of submitting to a powerful woman. Any longstanding submissive will understand the etiquette of approaching a domme. Not all ask for a tribute to merely send them an email. Although, anything that will take her precious time, she will expect a tribute and why shouldn’t she? She has spent many years homing her skills both practically and through study. She has invested much time and money into her business and tributes are a standard request for time.
Unfortunately, the scene isn’t just littered with conmen but timewasters too. Alike subs being conned, many dommes have also been. To reduce the risk of having their time wasted a deposit for sessions be it online or real time is a non-negotiable standard. Thus meaning, that the subs whom have been tainted by domme catfish cannot abide their own safety measures of resisting sending tributes before meeting. This is a predicament which affects all within the scene.
Now, I want you to flip this on its head. Put yourself in the shoes on a domme. You have spent many years studying your craft, multiple hours practicing, learning and building up your reputation and business. Then, you begin to receive emails from subs asking for their money back! It comes to light that someone has stolen your identity and has been using the weight of your hard-earned reputation and content to scam subs. This is a situation that occurs all too often. I have personally experienced this and many dominas’ I personally know have too. I ran a poll on several social media accounts which exposed that 40% of 210 subs who voted had been domme catfished and an even higher number of dominas’ have had their identity stolen for such activity. This is an alarming number and shows the true scale of the conman present within the scene. Gone are the days whereby a sub would source a domme via the back pages of magazines. Subs and dommes alike have the advantage of far reaching social media. Inherently, here is where the difficulty arises as its all too easy to rip images and set up an account pretending to be anyone you choose to be.
The infiltration of scammers has tainted the scene for all. However, the BDSM scene is a beautiful place when true domination is found. Everyone unfortunately gets their fingers burned by scammers every once in a while, dommes included. Albeit, we can’t allow scammers to turn our scene into a sceptical futile place, as hard as that may be. Be savvy, have your whit about you and don’t let your dick rule your mind till you have confirmed the validity of the person your dick twitches for and play safe.