The One and Only BDSM Training Method?



I receive emails and comments for tips about training. I explained many times that training is a personal subject and not something like 1-2-3.  After many emails I decided to provide you with the one and only method of training. You need to learn how to be a Dom and even if you are a natural Dom like me, again you need to keep developing your skills.


There is a myth in my opinion that submissives need to be trained. I have read many different articles and discussed opinions. Some are so silly; such as how to teach your sub to serve tea in the appropriate way. Go find a butler if you need to train someone to serve you tea.


A submissive needs something more realistic. They need to learn emotional and interpersonal best practices, communication (yes some people find it hard to communicate their thoughts, feelings and desires), clear boundaries, not to manage emotions (both the emotions of their own and their Dom), how to identify triggers in order to follow their Dom, and subs who tend to have a strong psychological subspace response should also learn how to handle that. Whatever other skills that a particular Dom desires his sub to master can be taught but are only subject of personal preference, and not a rule.



I am tired of people confusing personal preferences with what is important and what really matters. How you will train your sub to all the above; I have no suggestion to make. Again, it is a matter of personal preference and also a matter of  your own personal skills. For example, if you are not a good communicator yourself, there is no way to train your sub in the ways to communicate their thoughts, feelings and desires. You need to train yourself first.

That is the best training method. Train yourself first. Do not expect your sub to do anything that you are not ready to do first on your own. Some people who have a “God Syndrome” believe that being a Dom means giving orders and making requests. Sorry guys, that is not how it goes.

I hold two more pieces of advice, one for subs and one for Doms. My advice to subs is: Don’t seek BDSM training and do not expect anyone to come to you as a teacher. Work on your own and work on your emotional and interpersonal skills. When you choose a Dom try to do it using your reasoning and not your hormones. Always try to find a capable and sincere Dom who is honest and ready to dedicate their time to you. My advice to Doms is: Definitely seek education and mentoring. Keep in mind that what you wish to achieve is hard and not an easy task. Read as much as you can and learn how to identify which readings are useful and closer to reality. Do not learn only what applies to your own desires, thoughts, beliefs and fantasies. The hardest thing to learn is what is beyond yourself.



For me, BDSM training is the way to develop a relationship organically, and teach our partner things about us or about them. In my opinion, all the talk in BDSM circles about BDSM training is wrong-headed and influenced by novels and/or personal fantasies. No standard training regime is required to be a good submissive . In fact, it is largely the Doms who require the training, and not simply on how to hold a whip or how safe it is to use it. That is the easy part.


I hope you find this article regarding training useful and I promise that I will try to write more in the future. As it is impossible to give a one and only training method as advice, it is equally hard to write a single article about training.


By Master P

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