• Darkside Magazine

Femdom – A Road to Revelation

I now realise that ever since I can remember I have been attracted to dominant/assertive females. My mother was domineering as were her friends and my aunties so from a very early age I was used to strident opinionated women, I just thought it was normal the natural way of things. At primary school all the teachers were women and either totally domineering or gently and kindly assertive. At secondary there were fewer women teachers at an all-boys school but the women teachers or my favourite ones tended to be assertive and sassy. At university it was the 80s and the height of feminism which actually believe it or not increased my femdom feelings as all women were opinionated strident and therefore all the more sexy to me. Fast forward to my working life and I find myself working in a mainly female environment and all my female friends there are all assertive. My wife is natural bossy. So in all aspects of life I am and have been surrounded by dominant women. I have found many of them sexually attractive but not all however I have liked every assertive woman I have met and have sexual fantasies about many of them. I am a natural submissive to assertive women but not in an obvious way I enjoy challenging them and then being bested by their skill and ability. To me women are superior and I am very happy to accept this. So how did I come to be a femdom fan and a submissive?



My domineering-mother was a stay at home mum so she disciplined me and told me what to do as did her circle of stay at home mum friends. I loved being in adult female company and I loved pleasing them. I am certain this is where my fetish for femdom and assertive women must have started. When I got a little older it was off to primary school, another female dominated environment as most teachers at first school were women. I absolutely loved the place all those mature women telling me what to do and if you were naughty you got slapped legs just like I got from my mother and her friends! It wasn’t just the teachers I wanted to please it was some of the more assertive female pupils. I liked girls at school who were bossy who told me what to do and sometimes used force to impose their will. One particularly sticks in my mind, Kathryn Wilkinson, she was very well developed for a nine year old. She was physically much stronger than me and used to chase me, catch me, twist my arm until it hurt and I loved it. My cock did used to get hard during these experiences and I was left a little confused but strangely excited. The female teachers were also a source of feelings I didn’t understand at the time, Mrs Lunt a small lady with a cruel smile and knee length boots regularly administered leg slappings to naughty boys and girls and in severe cases of noncompliance over the knee spankings! I was afraid of her but strangely obsessed at the same time. Later I realised I was actually attracted to her and her punishments, even though I only had my legs slapped once but the anticipation and the threat were intoxicating.


I first masturbated over a dominant woman. They lady I lost my cherry to was the actress Valerie Leon, a statuesque amazon with magnificent breasts. She appeared in a series of Christmas TV adverts for the after shave Hai Karate. She played a sexual vociferous woman who intoxicated by the scent of the said after shave hunted down the wearer to basically fuck his brains out. At the age of ten I was entranced by the adverts and used to wank myself every day to thoughts of being taken by Valerie and fucked to within an inch of my life. Well to be honest I didn’t really have those thoughts then! All I knew then is she stirred very excited feelings in me and dry humping my mattress thinking of her made me feel very satisfied. Of course I now know what my feelings meant.Of course I was not able to articulate them then but now it’s obvious it’s all about wanting this woman to dominate and use me for whatever sexual act she desired. For the next few years I waited excitedly for Christmas to come round not for Santa Claus but for Valerie to appear in the new Hai Karate advert ! Ms Leon also appeared in many movies and always played a dominant sexually assured woman in films such as Zeta One, Carry on Up the Jungle and most notably a leather clad domatrix with a whip in a pink panther movie. I couldn’t get enough of her and for what seem years I was lost in series of wanking fantasies involving being taken and used by her.


I quickly discovered Valerie was not to be my only Femdom Mistress. My head and loins were enflamed by other dominant dangerous ladies of the small screen. The leather clad assassins Honor Blackman and Diana Rigg from the Avengers caught my fancy. They wore leather cat suits as they dominated their male foes. The fact they often killed with their bare hands whilst wearing such sexually alluring garb weaved its way into my sexual fantasy world. I dreamed of being forcibly taken by them and maybe even killed. a price I was happy to pay in my imaginary for the chance of a sexual liaison with them. Yes at this age I was having sex and death fantasies! In truth I didn’t know what sex was but all I knew was that dangerous women excited me and made me want to rub my dick. Initially I had been dry cuming over these ladies but puberty was approaching fast and I soon found the likes of Valerie and Honor made me very sticky.



This love of deadly women came to a head so to speak later in my young life with the movie Deadlier than the Male. I became sexually obsessed with the main characters played by Elke Sommer and Sylvia Koscina. In the film they played sexy assassins in bikinis and furs and with deadly weapons like spear guns and poison. I was desperate to be used and abused by them and the images of them killing especially with spear guns with their mock sympathy for their male victims drove me wild with lust. I was desperate to be their victim and be granted one mind blowing sexual experience for the cost of my life, the ultimate Femdom tribute a worthless male can give. Another film to hit me square in the loins was the Silencers featuring Nancy Novak as an ultimate fail as an assassin as she is killed by another woman before she can off a useless male with his brains in his dick. But the vision of her in only a shirt and heels with a deadly stiletto dagger gave me an instant boner! In my fantasy world Nancy fucks the brains out of her victim before stabbing him. The love of dangerous female spies also extended into James Bond films. Bond girls turned me on as well but only the bad ones ! Bambi and Thumper the bad girl wrestlers in Diamonds are Forever, the first Bond I ever saw, floated my boat. I was disappointed that Bond was able to tame them. In my mind’s eye version of the film they best Bond and smother him with their asses and thighs. Seeing women kill in these spy movies made a big impression on me I found them incredibly sexy especially when they killed. I desired in my fantasies to be their victim but only after the best orgasm ever after which or during it I would be happy to die.


Having such dark fantasies at an early age inevitably drew me to the more mainstream ideas and fantasies of femdom. From an early age I loved women in black leather clothes, black lingerie, black heels or boots and of course black stockings and suspenders. I also began to become excited by the paraphernalia like whips, crops and canes. As a teenager being whipped or spanked wasn’t on my horizon, it was not something I thought about but I was turned on by ladies dressed as I have described and loved the fact they were holding such instruments of torture. I liked to look at and wank to them but had no desire yet to have my bare bottom beaten red raw.


As I progressed into my teenage years I devoured soft pornography vociferously. Page 3 girls, Star Birds, mail order catalogues, mainstream top shelf titles all came into my wankfest world. I couldn’t get enough of them. I was selective though, I saved my semen for the women that meant it. You could always tell a girl that meant it by the look in her eye. That sultry, dominant, appraising gaze was all that mattered to me to get me off. A woman could be lying there legs a kimbo showing her juicy pink and I wouldn’t be attracted because she had a silly grin or disinterested look on her face. The ladies I wanked over had a knowing sexy gaze. A look of ‘come hither and let me fuck you young man!’ If that look wasn’t there I couldn’t even get hard despite what she might be offering between her legs. Page 3 might appear very tame but a model with the right look who might only be displaying her boobs or bum was incredibly sexy to me. Sian Adey Jones and Tracey Dixon were masters of this, Sam Fox and Linda Lusardi less so. Beautiful bodies but just winning cheerleader smiles rather than knowing, appraising, sultry looks. I liked to imagine Sian and Tracey as dirty women who dominated their prey in bed bossing them around and demand every sexual favour you could imagine. I did the same with models in the soft porn mags such as Club, Men Only and Mayfair You never knew their real names but the look in their eyes, whatever they were wearing or whatever their pose was told you if they were a domatrix or not. A naked woman with the right dominating look is the most powerful thing in the world. Her nakedness is her strength so confident she can stroll a round naked and be completely the boss in a world of clothed males. The best models exuded this vibe. Of course a clothed woman with a naked male slave is just as empowering and something I like enacting with my wife but would love to do with A mistress dressed in equestrian gear,

Watching TV in 70s looking for femdom wasn’t an easy task, yes there were the movies I have mentioned and the Avengers but with no video recorders you had to remember the fleeting images and use your imagination as you tugged away. Occasionally there were pleasant surprises, who would have thought those kings of light entertainment comedy the Two Ronnies would have come up with the most iconic, mainstream femdom moment of the 70’s with their serial sketch ‘the Worm that Turned’ . They created a future world where women ruled men. Men were feminised and the women police wore skimpy tight leather shorts with no panties topped off with leather caps ! Remember this was Saturday night entertainment in the late 70s, I couldn’t believe my luck or believe it was being shown and awaited each Saturday night in a state of high excitement. It starred Diana Dors and Wanda Ventham both famous for their assertive personalities. It also starred Jenny Logan the lady from the Shake ‘n’ Vac advert ! This advertisement promoted a woman content to stay at home and get her kicks from cleaning her carpet so it hardly prepared her for the role of chief of the secret police in fetish leather gear and cap ! However watch the advert on Youtube now and there is a glint of domestic domatrix in her eye as she does the hoovering ! This is probably what the Two Ronnies production team spied in her.



Around the same time as the Worm that Turned there was further evidence that Femdom had gone mainstream with the screening of the sci fi femdom series Star Maidens. This series had the potential to be pervy from outset as it was a joint Anglo German production the two perviest nations in the world. Set in the near future it featured the cultural clash between a female dominated planet where men are enslaved and our own 1980s planet earth. I lapped it up of course, the women only police force was dressed in sci fi fetish gear that accentuated their bottoms and boobs and they spoke down to their male slaves in a way that was full of sexual innuendo. I was as hard as a rock as I watched this on the mainstream television channel ITV on believe it or not a Sunday lunchtime! Sadly Star Maidens lasted only one series and The Worm That Turned proved to be a one off Two Ronnies series but for the first time obvious femdom had appeared in prime time family viewing slots. Honorable mentions should also go to drams shoe Dr Who and Blake’s Seven for femdom characters, Dr Who featured the savage warrior woman killer Leela. She wore an animal skin bikini and physically dominated her male foes. She was tamed to a degree by the doctor but she always knew how to handle herself. She was played by Louise Jameson with a noble sexy savageness and once again my loins were stirred. Blake.s Seven featured cruel alpha female emperess Severlan a woman who thought nothing of having weak males dispatched and making it obvious to prospective lovers they need to fuck her. She was played with immense sexual power by the wonderful Jacqueline Pierce.


It wasn’t just TV that helped educate me into the world of female domination but music to. I was a punk in the late 70s which had a very S and M side in clothes and attitude. If you want proof of the femdom nature of punk who can forget the suffocation of a male victim by female punks in the uncompromising film Jubilee or Siouxsee Sioux in her fetish gear. I began to explore punk’s roots and by doing so discovered the Velvet Underground. They were named after a pulp sado masochist novel and did songs about kinky sex, Venus in Furs being the best example. It’s a vicious, cruel piece with threatening erotic lyrics and unconventional instrumentation, a viola is used to mimic the sound of whipping. Again my eyes were opened as I researched the inspiration of the song, the novel of the same name. What a joy to discover I was not the only man who desired a fur clad cruel woman to whip him. Another erotic light bulb had been stiched on in my path down the femdom road.


I continued to devour pornography at an incredible rate and noticed my tastes turning more and more to the dominant side. A two part article in Men Only about male slaves who signed contracts allowing them to be tortured and killed for a final mind-blowing orgasm struck a chord deep within me crystallising my darkest fantasy. Another fiction piece about a woman who fucked her partners to death by demanding they keep shagging her until they died from heart failure, again embed itself into my core sexuality as I wished I was a man who had to fuck a Goddess until I could no longer stand the pace and died of exhaustion. Sign me up for that job!

In terms of pornography I stuck to my favourite mainstream top shelf mags well into my 20s I was certain aware of more specialist Femdom porn but it was always more expensive often only in black and white and to me at the time the women didn’t attract me. They scared me in actual fact they looked too real. In the mid-1990s things changed in mainstream wank mags when specialist glossy mags from the USA became more easily available in the UK. Titles like Leg Show and Leg Sex fed my growing need for foot pornography. These mags featured a great deal of femdom scenarios relating to female feet things like worship and ball crushing and this began to widen my taste. I now openly embraced my desires to be foot dominated potentially painfully i.e. balls crushed , cock trampled and feet forced into my mouth and face came to the surface. Other hidden desires such as my wish to be spanked or even whipped all formed in my brain. Around this time I noticed a new British magazine on the top shelf, Cruella. It was again a sign that S and M was becoming more mainstream and devotees were more prepared to come out into the open.


Cruella was a glossy Femdom magazine with gorgeous haughty models on its cover but strangely for a porn mag the models were no way close to being undressed. They looked incredibly sexually alluring. I was intrigued but it was £10 an issue a huge price for a magazine in the 90s and it was a very slim volume. Eventually after a few days of thinking I decided to invest and being a guy who has a philosophy of ‘in for a penny in for pound’ decided to double my stake and bought not one but the two editions the newsagent had for sale. A whole twenty quid on two thin porn mags! They better be good I thought as I walked away with them under my jacket.



Cruella was a revelation classy,literate and erotic. The women mostly clothed or in fetish wear were haughty, cruel and all had that appraising knowing gaze. They scared and excited me so much power and so sexy. The men were weak submissive and totally controlled. They were almost always naked. I had found my erotic nivarna. I wanted to be there and abused and dominated by this covern of domatrixes. Men hardly ever got to cum, initially this was a shock but I soon embraced the idea of tease and denial. The writing was very high quality and because of this fictional pieces appeared real, it really could be you being tortured by these cruel ladies. And these ladies were super cruel ! Pictures showing slaves about to be castrated or executed abounded and this poured petrol on my erotic fire. Another eye opener about the Cruellian world was they wanted male models or slaves and they asked you to apply. I hadn’t the courage and my domestic situation wouldn’t allow me to apply but fuck, this was real!


The thing that struck a chord with me the most was a story I read In the first Cruella magazine I ever bought. It was a short fiction piece by a submissive male it featured a primitive pencil drawing to illustrate it. Despite it’s short nature and frankly poor drawing it was the most erotic piece I have ever read. It told of a muscular male slave in ancient Rome forced to might a Domatrix Gladiatorix. She beats him easily and in the final paragraph humiliates her victim even more by making him masturbate for her. Just as he is about to cum she runs him through with her sword. The final sentence describes his death throes and erotic feelings from his point of view of him cuming as he dies. It was the most poignant erotic piece of writing I had ever read. I had found my fantasy world I wasn’t alone in my erotic fantasy world!


The publishers even published a sister mag Riding Cult a land where dominant women rode human male ponies, hunted rogue males and wore sexy equestrian garb but the mag was short lived as the arrival of the internet killed niche porn mags and Cruella and Riding Cult disappeared as physical hard copy but of course moved into the cyber world. The internet unveiled fetishism to the world, Pandora’s box was open and every sexual proclivity was catered for. I of course enagaged fully concentrating initially on my penchant for female feet for a number of years I drowned myself in foot fetish delights. It was like being a kid in a candy shop but the real joy of the internet arrived a few years later with social media. Facebook at first provided a base for me under an assumed identity but despite publishing only non explicit photos admittedly of lady’s with that knowing look and carefully genuinely erotic worded text I was shut down after a few months. However I had enjoyed it meeting potential doms and even would be female assasins. My appetite whetted I moved to Fetlife for more entertainment. I wasn’t disappointed doms contacted me with offers to worship their feet with no charge except my devotion and humiliation, that’s a deal then ! Sadly I suffered another shut down here for using internet finds rather than my own pics. So confounded again I moved the bulk of my activity to Tumblr and again found a small but willing and sympathetic auidance in which I was able to vent my sexual spleen!


Fetlife and Tumblr have widened my femdom tastes I would now consider being pissed on by a dom or being pegged /fucked by a lady in a strap on. I have realized that key for me with femdom is that I have to forced into the activity by a woman. I eat my own cum off my lady’s feet after worshipping them because she forces me to. Through sexual social media I have met and had sexual gratification with cyber mistresses who can order me to wank over their pictures and then send them pictorial evidence of my tribute. I have even had unsolicited approaches to meet up which I hasten to add I haven’t taken up… yet. The internet has allowed me to express my feelings via the written world and I have been able to articulate my fantasies which I find very liberating. A by product of this has been I have become a genuine published writer in some specialist magazines.


My life outside my femdom nervarna fantasy world is mildly femdom. I have a wife who is assertive and bossy and demands obedience and that I worship her feet cum on her feet and then lick it off. She will engage in mild spanking. However want more I want cruelty and for her to wear femdom regalia. This won’t happen and I feel more and more drawn to a professional Mistress or a willing partner from one of the social media sites. Before anyone suggests it I have talked to her and it has been met with a cold shoulder. I am therefore seeking other options maybe Ms Red Shoes at work she knows a lot of my desires and teases me to distraction which fulfils the tease and denial need but I need to try and take that further step and get her to make me her slave. We shall see. Watch this space...


By Eatby64

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