Thoughts on switching and switches is quite the scandalous subject. Some believe that within this lifestyle, one takes on either the role of the top or the bottom. That there is no way possible for one to switch from a sadist to a masochist at the blink of an eye. They say switching is comparable to those that are bisexual. Being that those who claim to be not one or the other, but in between, are just confused.
On the other side of the spectrum, people say it is healthy to act out both sides. The desires are there whether they are of the curious nature, or a craving.
I am a switch, and this is why I like who I am and what I do. Starting off, I will let you know where I am coming from. Growing up, I was very dominant in my friendships and relationships. There was also a very sadistic side to me. It always put a smile on my face that I was able to control people, and inflict pain. Again, I was young, and had no idea that there was a label, and better yet a community where this was accepted and understood.
About a year ago I met my first Mistress. A few months later I was collared to her. Before this, excluding the happenings as a child, I had only two experiences. One as a top, the other as a masochist. This was a big learning experience for me. I wanted to learn who I was and what I wanted. The first thing I had realized was that I wasn’t much of a submissive.
There is a time and a place for everything, and yes when I was restraint, I did as I was told. I had known before going into this that I had a very high pain tolerance. But, it wasn’t till I was with her, that I appreciated it, looked forward to it, and was able to understand it.
During this time, I also starting topping a friend. It was very nice to have an outlet for other things. This helped in more ways than one. I was getting off on the subMission he gave to me, and it was a release when I wasn’t getting played with.
This became more frequent, and my Mistress understood who I was and the desires I had. Which was very important for obvious reasons. After a few months of being collared to her, I decided I didn’t want to be her slave anymore. There were other things between us that I wanted to concentrate more on. I did remain her masochist, and we did play from time to time.
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Since her, I have had one recent advance. There was some talk of me possibly being a personal slave to a top that I have a great deal of respect for. In the beginning it sounded like something to think about. I felt that I could learn a lot about being a top, and also as a submissive. Our interests were very similar. But I wanted to continue being who I was, and didn’t want to conform.
Maybe it’s me being selfish, but I enjoy every avenue for different reasons. There is nothing I like more than to see a bottom bound, taking what I give to them, and pushing them further than they thought they could go. Their reactions to fear and pain taking me further. Watching them grow from barely being able to take a mere flogging, to getting erect from a caning. Most of all, they are doing it for my pleasure, and I love breaking them of their once hard limits.
I also have my days where, I don’t want to be in control. Revelling in being able to sit back and relax, taking everything in. My mind only concentrating on what is being done to me. Sometimes in dire need of the pleasant tortures I have grown to love and crave.
I am very lucky to be able to act upon all of my desires. Perhaps I have more than others, or act out more than others care to. In my opinion, the ideal relationship is one where both switch from time to time. That statement also make me wonder. When a Dom/me finds a mate and decides to date, are they looking for one who is submissive, or a dominant? Do they want someone who is their equal, or someone that they can have total control over, considering those who look at this as a lifestyle. And if they choose a person with more dominant qualities lets say as a personality, do they switch roles from time to time. You already know my answer. If I was in a monogamous, I couldn’t live without both.
Every D/s relationship is different, because people are different. With my last Mistress, I had a very strong desire to switch with her. She didn’t, so hence it was one sided. There is another top that I play with however, that would like to feel the “other side of the whip” and would like me to be the one to take her there. I think as long as there is a lot of communicating, and the parties involved know their place, the relationship wouldn’t be affected by it.
When I venture out to a fetish party, or a club, I am dominant. If there comes a time where the tables are turned, it takes me a few moments to get adjusted. There has been an instance where I was getting my feet worshipped and a hand massage, and next thing I knew I had a top on either side of me making me worship them. That was very confusing. I was loving every minute of it don’t get me wrong, but I wasn’t able to enjoy what I was receiving as much as I normally would because of everything that was going on.
In closing, I am very happy with who I am. That I can live out all the fantasies that I have. I am very lucky to have the influences in my life that I do. Everyone has a right to their own opinion. And the above are mine. Hopefully there are many people out there that feel as I do, and those that don’t still respect it.